And a Hamburger in a Pear Tree

Mel's foodie friend Frankie had a burger that would be the one gift Father Christmas would ask for....

There are very few events in the year which hold the same mouth-wateringness as when that giant Christmas bird is adorned upon your table. Your taste buds reach peak excitement as you anticipate the succulent chomps of turkey, silently blessing the genius whoever decided to massage the skin with butter and cover it with bacon before cooking it to a deliciously juicy yet crispy skinned perfection.

...Sorry where was I?

Oh that’s right, I was sat comfortably in the stylish restaurant booths of All Star Lanes, awaiting my much anticipated festive burger, comprising all the most wonderful aspects of a Christmas dinner encased in a classic firm burger bun.



As I waited with excitement for a food fest worthy of Kris Kringle himself, I sat back and took in my surroundings. The restaurant itself was a mixture of modern decor with glamorous classic Americana, topped off with a sophisticated yet trendy bar grandiose enough for Don Draper to drain his scotch on the rocks in. Its overall appearance and ambience a million miles away from what some may imagine when envisioning an eatery decked out with a pre-dinner bowling alley.

I sniffed out our order on the approach, blessed with a nose that has the ability to track down a pig in a blanket over a half mile away, I knew we were in for a winner winner turkey dinner before the plates had even graced the table.

Our friendly server delivered our innovative Christmas concoction and I took in its grand splendour. Far from your average burger, this meat feast was stacked with layers of thoughtfully assembled elements from classic cranberry sauce and stuffing to rogue treacle cured bacon and Monterey Jack cheese, giving what could potentially be your standard Boxing Day leftover butty a delectable and superior edge.



Crowned on top of the glazed bun stood a crowd favourite – a speared pig in blanket, a bacon hugged chipolata sausage, the epitome of Christmas. Thankfully I managed to appreciate its wholeness for a fraction of a moment before losing control and inhaling the sausage, narrowly avoiding ingesting the stick in my excitement.

Wrapping my taste buds round the first bite of burger was like welcoming a delicious Ghost of Christmas Dinners Past, the many platefuls of taste sensations I had experienced previously all came rushing back to me as I remembered just how glorious this combination of tastes could be.

Back in the present, I revelled in the satisfying flavours which combined the crunch of the breaded turkey, the softness of the stuffing, the crisp bite of bacon synchronising with the oozyness of the molten lava cheese, finished off with that beautiful sweet hint of cranberry sauce.

Never having been an avid fan of cranberry sauce before, I was every bit a convert as the marriage between savoury turkey infused with stuffing was complimented by the sweet jelly sauce, how could I have been so blind to this perfect coupling in the past?

Supporting acts to the burger were a bucket overflowing with deliciously crisp, salty sweet potato fries and a steaming pot of French dip gravy.



Now, let’s take a moment here, to appreciate the gravy. Oh the gravy, the wondrous nectar which added a magnificent moist-maker to the dish. Served in the most adorable Borrower-sized pan, it provided the perfect opportunity for dipping both burger and sweet potato fry alike as both reached a new level of lusciousness when soaked generously in the piping hot jus.

Each bite of the burger evoked a fresh inviting festive flavour making it thoroughly enjoyable from start to finish. Whilst turkey occasionally has a rep of being a bit of a dry bird, you’d never have guessed the breaded patty had been made using white meat thanks to the infusion of a sublime homemade stuffing, perfectly seasoned and moistened enough to keep the bite of turkey succulent and moreish.

We gobbled down the last of our burgers, savouring every bite, mopping up every last drip of gravy until our plates were empty from evidence of our feast.

We sat back, more stuffed than the delicious bird we had just taken on but deliciously content in a post-food haze. I was already trying to figure out how to squeeze another burger in before the festive season came to end; a most wonderful tribute to the great Christmas dinner, capable of coaxing a smile out of even the most Scroog-iest of diners.

We thanked our friendly and knowledgeable servers who very kindly let us in on the secret ingredients to the mouth-watering gravy, already in withdrawal mode I was hungrily keen on re-creating the satisfying accompaniment for every foreseeable meal.

“This is why restaurants need beds” my friend had said as she struggled to stand.

Quite right I thought as I cradled the new turkey shaped addition to my tummy. All Star Lanes had really hit the nail of edible Christmas cheer directly on the tinsel; creating a jolly, delicious way to spend a frosty evening and celebrate the month of merriment.

The only real thing missing from this delicious Christmas Burger feast was the comatose nap I so desperately needed after drinking my gravy like a milkshake. Happy Holidays!

Follow Frankie on Twitter @FrankAboutFoods!

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Posted: Friday 11th December 2015
ID: 10322 - 1503